Trojan Peep
by exiled mind
Summary: An Easter party gone wrong. Written for a kink meme prompt which you'll find within. Warning: I believe this counts as crack because the premise is completely ridiculous, even if the characters themselves are not necessarily.


Kink meme prompt: "It's easter today!!!!!!!! We need a Party. Also need peep's. Yes peep's, and they should explode."

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A/N: Ridiculous fic is ridiculous. If you aren't sure what candy referred to is, go ahead and google "marshmallow peeps".

In short, they are brightly colored sugar-covered marshmallow treats made in varying shapes to represent things such as chicks, bunnies, hearts, rabbits, etc depending on the holiday and are especially popular (in my area) around Easter.

I, uh... took the prompt literally, so below you will indeed fine easter, a party, peeps, and an explosion. So... what it says on the prompt tin, I suppose. Yeah. I'd call it cracky. You've been warned.

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Trojan Peep

James Kirk wiped a partially melted glob of pink goo out of his eyes, improving his vision immensely. Looking around the recreation room, however, he kind of wished he really had been blinded, at least temporarily, by the sugary substance.

Spock and Uhura had been closest to the blast as Uhura described the history of the Easter holiday, springtime celebrations, and popular earth confections to an amused-not-that-he'd-admit-it Spock. They were now both liberally spattered with the remnants of the largest sugary earth treat that had been used as a centerpiece... and apparently a cheerfully colored Trojan horse as well. The large yellow "chick" had been oversized and seemed to lord over a small kingdom of smaller yellow chicks, pink rabbits, and purple eggs that had been displayed on one of the dessert tables. Now the chick was a melting, oozing blob sticking itself, probably for eternity, to the table and to Jim's first officer and head of communications.

Jim was fairly certain that he did not want to be the person who'd designed the trick when Uhura got her hands on him or her. He shuddered as varying scenarios ran through his mind. The fallout would be epic.

Nearby, Bones was cleaning the screen of his tricorder and muttering things about "idiotic science experiments" and "could have caused serious burns!" and generally being crabby. Then again, given the amount of pink sugar coating his hair, Jim couldn't really blame him.

Sulu had been on the other side of the table, facing away from the blast while talking to Gaila. His entire back was spattered with purple, and Jim really hoped he wouldn't be sitting down anytime soon because the mess coating his ass would likely permanently shellac him to any surface he touched.

Sulu had managed to shield Gaila from most of the flying sugary debris and she only had a few blobs clinging to her curls. She also had her hands clamped over her mouth in an attempt to hide her laughter. Given her shining eyes and shaking shoulders, however, she wasn't succeeding.

"Who would do something so damned idiotic?" Bones' voice cut across the room. They all eyed each other for a moment, considering.

"Scotty!" Bones, Sulu, Uhura, and Jim shouted in unison. Spock didn't shout, but he did glare in a not-quite-Vulcan way around the room trying to identify the likely hiding spot of their chief engineer. Gaila was apparently still unable to control her mirth and was now bent over gasping for breath.

A groan came from behind an overturned table and Scotty stood up, wavering slightly and gripping the upturned table's edge for support. He was coated with pink bunny projectiles from the waist upwards.

"Did your little prank backfire on you there, Scotty?" Jim raised his eyebrows at the other man.

Scotty gaped at him. "_My_ little prank, Captain? I'm not responsible for this disaster! It's a terrible waste of good food, sir! I'd not dare cause such destruction to all the poor lil' devils, short of eatin' them, that is." He looked around and met the eyes of the other victims, searching for support.

"It is a logical argument, Captain." Spock clasped his hands behind his back and turned to Jim. "Mr. Scott does not have a tendency towards the waste of edible foodstuffs. Regardless of whether these 'peeps' qualify as such or not, this is not in fitting with Mr. Scott's usual behavior."

Jim was still digesting that – hah! - when he noticed Sulu's brows draw together and a frown appear on his face as he looked around the room carefully.

″Has anyone seen Pavel lately?″ Sulu's question was met initially with silence, soon followed by irritated grumbles.

Jim clapped his hands together, drawing the attention of the others. ″Well, Mr. Spock, I think it is time to introduce you to another old earth tradition shared by some of those people who celebrate Easter. It's called an egg hunt.″

Spock raised an eyebrow. ″For what purpose, Captain?″

″Oh, I'm sure Uhura can explain the history later on, but for now, we'll be changing the rules a bit. Instead of hunting for eggs, we'll be in search of young Russian ensigns.″ Though annoyance was still the prevailing emotion in the expressions of his crew, Jim could sense a slight undercurrent of amusement, too, at his suggestion. ″First one to find him get an extra day of shore leave at our next opportunity. Let's go.″


End file.
